Let me tell you a story about a best man speech gone bad. The year was, uh, about 2 or 3 years ago -ish. This was the first wedding where my buddy was the one getting married. Not my cousin or uncle or family friend, but a buddy I grew up with. That just-after-college wedding where the whole "real life" thing was starting to set in.
I was lucky enough to be asked to be the best man for this blessed occasion. First wedding and I get the big role. What the hell did it all mean? What was my role? Of course, back then, there was no DudeImGettingMarried to guide me along. I was going into this blind.
Needless to say, it was a great wedding. But the real story was the best man speech. My only real responsibilty and therefore the only thing I actually did. I think I might have handed the groom a penis during the ceremony, but my motives for that action are unclear at this point.
Anywho, back to the point. The best man speech. The chance to give insight about my buddy and his new bride. To congratulate them on a blessed union and wish them future happiness. To be witty, sentimental, funny and poignant. My moment to capture it all.
My plan was to wing it. Nothing was written down - it was going to come from the heart. Let it flow from the "realness" of the moment. Embrace the now, the actuality of the ceremony and be a vessel for this cosmic experience.
The reality was I got up there and babbled like an idiot. Something about my buddy visiting me at college. I think I made fun of my other rehersal dinner speech. Oh, and I never mentioned the wife. It was bad and short enough that the DJ (a local wedding DJ whose life no doubt must be awesome) felt compelled to make fun of it. Like the cherry on top of a crap sandwich that was my first and only best man speech.
The morale of the story? Plan ahead. Write it down. And take it seriously. I really felt bad about that speech. Now I just hope my brother gets married soon so I can redeem myself...
